Germany - A Nation of Starers

Some time ago I wrote a post about  10 Things I Like About Germany . Well, now I have to tell you about "1 Thing" I absolutely loathe about Germany. No, it's not the "ruthless efficiency", not the towels, and not even the ubiquitous beer which, granted, I'm not that keen on.

It's the staring. Germany is a nation of starers. Germans stare at you... well, all the time. On the streets, in the underground, in restaurants, in shops - everywhere. There isn't a single refuge from being stared at (maybe the cinema, but just because it's dark).  And I really really don't like it!

Why do they stare? You could of course give it a flattering spin: Be glad they're staring at you, it means they find you attractive. Or: Being stared at is better than being ignored. Or whatever. I've tried to convince myself - but a) it's not true, b) it doesn't work. They stare at everybody - women at women, men at women, men at men, they stare at old people, at children.. at anybody. Do they know they're staring? Is it automatic? Have they gone half-way to sleep and just forgot to take their eyes off you? I don't know.

In Anglo-American countries staring at people in a consistent manner it considered extremely rude. Nobody does it. Ever. On the tube in London, people go to extraordinary ways in order not to meet each other's gaze. And frankly, first thing in the morning when you're only semi-awake, awaiting the working day's tribulations whilst being squashed into a stuffy train, really the last thing you want is some nosy stranger staring at you unabashedly.

But in Germany, children don't get told that it's rude to stare at people- it simply isn't a concept. People obviously don't mind it. They don't see it as an intrusion of private space. I'm not sure where this cow-like behaviour comes from - is it a sign of provincialism, of curiosity, of just not being bothered?

I often think what might happen to these starers when they indulge in their favourite activity in a less harmless environment than most German towns present. People there might not take so kindly to their intrusive stares...

Germany's Love-Hate Relationship With Technology

I've often said it - and it's true: Germany is a funny country. Take for example people's attitude towards technology.

On the one hand you wouldn't find a country where people are more in love with technology than Germany. The latest models/brands/make/ USP's of any car are bandied about on a regular basis. Oh - you don't know the difference between a Bosch electric drill and a cheap one from Aldi?? Pah! Minute details like tyre grip speed, or GPS systems' benefits are discussed as if they were essential to people's daily lives.

And don't even mention the most recent iphone model. The prevalence of those sort of topics is one of the biggest drawbacks of living in Germany. So you'd rightly assume that this is a society eagerly embracing digital technology as well, right?

Far from it! Here, you can still score intellectual brownie points if you say things like "The Internet is the future! All that print stuff is doomed." People will nod, and gaze impressedly, calling you a "guru". Much as they love their "ei-fohn", they don't really find much use for it, as communication is an underdeveloped skill in this country. For more details on this see:  http://interculturalmusings.blogspot.de/2011/09/intercultural-differences-in-social.html

Consequently, people are very very suspicious of social media usage.(amongst the EU-5 countries, Germany has the lowest rate of social media usage*) Their main concern is internet security - the country is awash with legislation protecting internet users. The overwhelming majority of social media users do so under an assumed name. (Even on Facebook, which specifies you have to use your actual name.) Bizarrely, the trend is to go for "sweet" childish names (Krümel, Flocke, Mausi etc.). So the ease and comfort with which they use cars, electric drills, and other straightforward tools does not translate into "The Internet" which is still very much perceived as a threatening, intransparent medium of  "anonymous technology".

They are also strangely ignorant and uninformed about any digital progress.  Ask a German whether they've ever heard of, say, Pinterest, Prezi, or what a Personal Cloud is - and the answer will be a resounding: "DUH??"  How do I know that? Because I asked them.

Having also done my own research into WHY people are so suspicious of the Internet and its various services (e-commerce, social media etc.) the answers were as follows:

- fear of one's private sphere being invaded
- being totally transparent
- opening oneself up to unwanted commercial attention

Makes you wonder why Germany is the second largest market for online dating then. As I say, Gemany is a funny country.

*http://www.newmediatrendwatch.com/markets-by-country/10-europe/61-germany?start=1

German Men

Germany is a funny country. The longer you live here, the more baffling it gets. Thus with German men. At first glance, they seem quite normal. Maybe even slightly better than average. One appreciates the absence of creepiness,  there is a faint (if slightly boring) sense of camaraderie. Unthreatening, friendly, open. The more you look, however, cracks begin to show. Once you looked a bit more closely, you see the nervosity, the flickering eyes, maybe when you mention the operating system of your smartphone.Or you're doing really well at some sporting event, or you mention that you prefer Mozart to Beethoven...You get the picture. They really really find it hard to deal with "strong" (all the things mentioned don't actually indicate any "Strength"...!) women. They feel intimidated so easily, it is truly worrying. Sadly, this isn't just their own private problem - it can easily become yours too, especially at the workplace!

Often, you find that German women adapt instinctively to this "need" situation, and just play dumb. Meaning - at the workplace they rarely contradict, let alone criticise. But back to the menfolk.

Their conversational topics have changed over the years. But only slightly. Where it used to be cars, cars, and bits of cars, it is now technology and social media. When I say technology, I mainly mean iphones and other Apple-related gadgetry. Showing off with up-to-date, in-depth Apple-knowledge is absolutely crucial to being taken seriously as a German male. Weird. And very boring.You may say "Oh,  all men are like that", wich would be depressing enough, but actually Geman men (in my experience) have this urge to really really know more than any other person about technology.

The second topic is sports - again, no surprises. Except here, it isn't spectator sport - it has to be some "extreme" sports that they practicethemselves - triathlon, extreme speed cycling, or at the very least something dangerous. (Not quite as good as it can't be quantified).

Showing off, topping all others as a personal need in order to distract from their very real insecurity. Not unusual, but fairly irritating. And a bottomless desire to be admired. (For speed cycling??)

So yes, I find German men a bit tiresome with all their hang-ups, neediness and fear. Thankfully though, I'm not married to a German!

If you want to tell me that your sweet Heinz is "totally different", or I "obviously got a real psychological hang-up", or even if you agree with me, you're very welcome to do so on twitter (@Margit11) as I find this blog commenting a bit fiddly.

No Talking, Please! Germans on Twitter

I've written about the differences in intercultural social media usage before (interculturalmusings.blogspot.com/2011/09/intercultural-differences-in-social.html) but a recent news headline that Twitter is growing exponentially in Germany leads me to dwell on the subject a bit more.

So after years and years of saying "Twitter - clearly overrated" and "That won't last" (their favourite standard put-downs to any new development) they've finally tagged onto the (somewhat spurious) idea that being on Twitter gives you social kudos, makes your "trändy", and lets you show off amongst your peer group.

I've been observing German twitterers for quite some time now - and my verdict is stark: They just don't know to to deal with Social Media. They excell at Foursquare, they try any trick in the book to up their Klout score, they like having masses of followers (and never mind that they're all trade related or want to sell an e-book). It's numbers and facts that count in Germany. My Klout score is..., I ousted xx as mayor... I bought a new iphoen XS2YZ -that's the Social Media currency that Gemans understand.

What they fundamentally do not see and get is the obvious (another characteristic of Germans in my experience - not seeing the wood for the trees), namely that Social Media is about communication.

Communication/conversation is a dark hole in German culture. For Germans, talking first and foremost means conveying information. And from that starting point, it isn't very far to "showing off with information which I 've got and you haven't". Conversation as a bonding agent in any form of interpersonal encounter is literally a non-starter in Germany. (If you've ever been to an awkward German office party where people have no problem with facing one another without saying a word for, oooh half an hour, you'll kow what I mean.)

Even the word "Konversation" has an entirely negative connotation in German, meaning "talking for the sake of it, not genuine". Talking, exchanging ideas, witty, light-hearted conversation is just simply not their forte.

At the moment, all kinds of articles on "The Purpose of Twitter", "Twitter to Up your Career Prospects", "Should Politicians be on Twitter" etc. abound - but the simple insight that Social Media means linking up to people conversationally, I fear, will for ever escape Germans.

For more information on the Art of Conversation, have a look at my book: Animated Conversations. Pfaffenweiler 1992.

Intercultural Differences in Social Media Usage

Recently, I've taken to posting about half my twitter and Facebook messages in German. The majority of my folllowers is located in Britain, but Germans are the second largest group. I'd published some articles in German-speaking media, and after all - hey, I live in Germany!

So I feel qualified to tell you about some striking differences in German vs. British social media usage.

The first result (after about 2 weeks) was that my Klout score went down a whole point. (Let's leave aside the undoubted dubiousness of Klout, but in terms of pure numerics it can be trusted.) This prompted me to do my own research into the matter.

In the interest of easy access to my findings, I will abandon the narrative form and present my findings in bullet-point form.

• German twitter/facebook users are organised tribally. They often know each other personally and then form Social Media nuclei.

• A big reason for Social Media usage is to organize "Meet-ups" and get-togethers". Whilst these obv. exist everywhere, the German interest in them can almost be called obsessive.

• German users group themselves locally. Once you found acceptance into one such town/region circle, many other users will follow you. Membership has to be "proven" via heritage, immense interest in the region, or - best of all - personal acquaintance.

• German Social Media users are (in my experience) predominantly male. There are of course females but they tend to be even more tightly knit by interest or locality.

• A (at least for me) slightly off-putting feature of German female SM usage is the tendency to give oneself childish, overly sugary "kuschelige" nicknames. ("Wuschelchen" etc.)
  

• Internet technology is German male users' prime topic. (You might think this characteristic for men the world over, but it's definitely not true for British male social media users).

• Interaction is mostly limited to these tech subjects. Even the shared regionality serves more as a form of glue than an actual topic of communication.

• Germans hardly ever do RT's.
  

• If there are RT's these are limited to notifications about meet-ups. Thereby serving as a sort of "Flüsterpost" - an internal network.

• Germans (again this applies to males) are more prone to using Foursquare than other nations. There are users who hardly ever post anything but a Foursuare notification.

• A good number of Germans only post deliberately "absurd", out of context posts, and don't follow anybody. Again, like the Foursquarers, this inhibits any sort of dialogue and reverts back to an old "Read Only" profile.
  

I am refraining from interpreting these findings. I merely wanted to take the subject of Interculturalism which so often hangs in yesterday's world of "The are so polite, The English" into a more up-to-date context.

English? Na klar!

There are very few Germans who would not maintain that they speak fluent English. And indeed, English is everywhere - music, films, social media, brands, youth culture... you name it, it's in English. But when it comes to actually speaking English, Germans are - whether they like it or not - quite shockingly bad at it. Of course, if you go there as a tourist, you're probably quite happy that almost everybody has a smattering of your language, and you won't find yourself totally lost. But proper, idiomatic and proficient speaking of English is almost totally absent. I've been paying quite close attention to this phenomenon since I moved here, and have identified what are, in my mind, the most obvious weaknesses.

1. Pronunication. Only the other day I heard somebody say "Latin Lover" in typically German pronunciation . It sounded like thiss "Lett-hinn luffa". Most Germans don't make any effort to pronounce English as it should be. Annoyingly, they often also transport their own local dialect into the foreign language, so you end up with Swabian English, Berlin English etc.

2. Un-idoimatic use of language. Germans seem to be blissfully unaware of the fact that English is perhaps the most idiomatic language in the world. You simply can't go about in your own way and disregard idioms. It ends up sounding clumsy and naive, and that unfortunately, is mostly the impression created when Germans speak English.

3. Treating English as if it was German. Probably the gravest sin, and probably responsible why Germans think they can easily deal with the language: Just translate word by word and you end up with... gibberish. A good example I overheard the other day: "It is now nice since two days, so I go out." Err? There is also a total disregard for tenses (esp. Present Perfect to indicate an on-going state of affairs and Past Continuous which doesn't exist in German.)

I think there is great scope for improved English teaching at German schools and university. It should be a prerequisite that English teachers have spent a considerable amount of time in an English-speaking country. I do believe it's worth learning to speak a language properly (i..e as native speakers handle it) and not in some pidginified version.