Where Should I Emigrate To?

I will have to emigrate. Very very soon it will no longer be possible to lead anything resembling a normal life in Germany. Last week, an 80-year old woman was raped and robbed on a Sunday at 11am after a church visit. In the centre of Düsseldorf, a once pleasant and affluent town where I spent several years working in an advertising agency, riding my bike, going for walks, coming home late...normal things one does. None of those things would now be possible in Merkel's Germany. And that isn't acceptable. But as that evil woman vowed to stick to her guns (so to speak) and indeed will next week be visiting Africa to sniff out more possible Deals (as we've learned to call them) with African leaders, I have no choice but to leave this once pleasant, but now doomed country.

So where should I go? Where can I go?

• Britain. The obvious choice. My second home. Yet last time I lived there, I had to leave after 1 year: The combination of atrocious weather, Fridya night culture, ropey infrastructure and manky food proved too much. Enormous administrative, personal and financial efforts had to made to remedy a wrong move. Dare I give it another chance? Still, the prospect of a new promising Tory government is a positive sign, the North has to be avoided ( I lived in Edinburgh last time) and a general gritting of teeth might do the trick. Odds: 6/10

• Hungary. The country I spent the most time in this year. Very sympathetic due to personal ties and the politics of PM Orbán which I wholeheartedly approve of. Affordable. Beautiful, historically interesting. But: Language problems, the near impossibility of finding a job there, low wages. And atmospherically, I often notice a certain ennui in people there, a tendency to be negative and find fault with everything, and a general lack of joie de vivre. Odds:4/10

• Holland. Probably the country I feel closest to outside (the old, pre-Merkel) Germany . Although I have the vocabulary of a 10-year old, due to spending my youth there I can sound Dutch.  I always get the frisson of coming home when I'm there. The smells, the weird food, the "Hoi" - it all feels comforting. Yet: Is it that much better than Germany when it comes to chaotic migration? And is the prospect of living in a politically divided, almost sectarian country any better than living with Merkel's constant "Nazi" slurs?  Odds: 6/10

• Switzerland. A country I have no ties with and know hardly at all. What I've heard about it hasn't exactly filled me with enthusiasm. Vigilante neighbours, high prices, strange forms of protestantism. Generally I'd say - too isolated, inward-looking, resentful and stuck in a decade we know little about. And yet: It's affluent, realatively safe, has good infrastructure and the prospects of finding a job there are better than in most other countries. Not a place I like, but as I say - it's grit your teeth time. Odds: 6.5/10 

Beggars can't be choosers. And it will be necessary to make a decision soon. The next German government will likely involve a loony left party AND  the nauseating, destructive Merkel. I hope not to be in Germany when that doubly whammy hits.

So what do you think? If you're German, do you have similar thoughts? If you live outside Germany, can you recommend a country I maybe haven't thought of yet? Let me know!

Hatred of Germany

This is a topic I find thoroughly distasteful. If you've been following my posts, you'll know that I loathe any form of xenophobia. When it's targeted at Germany where I live, and which (although I didn't grow up here) I consider my home, it's doubly irritating and painful. I also feel that I can't deal with it in an entirely fair manner anymore. Too much has happened; It has made me prickly and sickened, and I don't trust myself to deal fairly with a topic I find entirely disgusting.

Also, I haven't been living in the UK for a few years now. My last abode was Edinburgh, where I didn't encounter any anti-German feelings in particular, but was aware of a diffuse xenophobic atmosphere.

When talking to British expats here in Germany, I notice the same stereotypical cliches coming up: No queuing (nobody outside the UK queues), efficiency (not true anymore in Germany, alas) and over-emphasis on things like being on time, law and order, strictness in a family context. (All about 50 years out of date). They take the amenities Germany provides for granted but don't try to expand their knowledge of it. Empiricism doesn't stand a chance over stereotype in that quarter.

Thus we come to Social Media where the hatred of Germany and Germans is rampant. Only the other day somebody (an English female, allegedly a member of the Labour party) wrote on Twitter

"All Germans are racists. They can't help it. It's in their/your DNA." As far as racist comments go, this one would score highly. The same person maintained that "All Germans are Nazis".
All this was in relation/explanation of Germany's role in the Greek debt crisis.

Boris Johnson, the mayor of London, today said on twitter: "Germany's [role in the Greek debt crisis] is a disaster. We have to stop this immulation." As it is clear that "We" can neither do anything, or that Boris Johnson has any intention of bailing out Greece in a different way from Germany, these comments have to be taken as an indication of an almost incandescent hatred of Germany.

I deliberately counterpointed  a quote from a (clearly very poorly educated and ignorant) woman on Twitter and the Oxford man Boris Johnson who - however objectionable -prides himself on his worldliness and multi-cultural heritage. Sadly, both of them seem to agree on one thing: The horror that is Germany.

Speaking to a friend about it, he maintained that things had got an awful lot better over the decades. "Think of those dreadful British war films for example." I must admit I've never seen one. A loathing of all things military, war and xenophobic wouldn't make me the ideal audience. But I can assure you, even that sort of spirit is still alive and kicking: Recently, a British family man - otherwise a nice, decent person - enthusiastically raved about a new game app: "Dambusters" - hey, you can play at drowning Germans, how great is that! (War crimes as games, just think!) Incidentally, tens of thousands of  Polish POW's would have died if that infernal plan had worked out.

It is all very sad. I suppose one has to see it as a corollary of Britain drawing into itself, becoming ever more anti-European, ever more parochial and cut off. Germany and Germans are just the lazy way of hitting out. Who could be bothered to open another can of worms by, say, hating Italians or Austrians? Still, it is a sad indictment on a nation, its people. its politicians, its intellectuals (are there any in Britain still?)

It's also a shame that the UK managed to (rightly) make racism and homophobia a hate crime. Xenophobia, however, remains acceptable, is indulged in by high and low (actually, the thoroughly awful Daniel Hannan (MEP!) is another example of somebody who recently compared Germany to an occupying force in Europe - but somehow he is too disgusting to even get into.

Xenophobia really is the last resort of the scroundrel.

My Personal Reaction to David Cameron's EU Speech

I had not realised "The Speech" would come so early on Wednesday. As it was, it managed to spoil my day completely and utterly. The proposition of an in/out referendum for Britain, the ghastly formulaic "We wanna bedder deal" (i.e. more money), and the general bellicose and aggressive demeanour of the speaker churned my stomach.

You know the branding exercise "If  this product were a person, what/who would they be"? I've always found it very useful to clarify my thoughts. So let's think. If today's Britain were a person what would they be?

The image of a dirty old man living in a run-down shack comes to mind. He shoots wildly at his neighbours whilst shouting obscenities and accusing them of trespassing. He lives on his own, maybe with a flea-ridden dog. He has no job and no obvious income. He spends his time watching  TV, and throws the remote at it when something is not to his liking or he thinks it's a foreign program. For food he slops a can of baked beans over some soggy toast. The leaky roof of his hovel is adorned with a tatty flag to which he salutes when he goes out.  He is unkempt, aggressive, and thoroughly unpleasant.

Clearly, in my personal life I would not have any dealings with such a person. I abhor any form of nationalism, xenophobia and racism. Sadly, in today's UK, xenophobia is so institutionalised and socially acceptable, people aren't even aware they're practising it. And small wonder: Lack of foreign language skills, (i.e. no ability to read or listen to foreign media) little experience of foreign countries (apart from artificial tourist resorts - the "Costas"), and an inherited belief that "Britain is best" make for a society that is perennially chasing its own tail. Unable - and unwilling - to look across the parapet. Proud of its ignorance ("I don't like eating foreign muck"), its tribalness, and its provinciality. Only British people who are living abroad find all this embarrassing and off-putting.

It's a country where hatred reigns supreme. Everybody there hates everybody. Men/women, northerners/southerners, Tory/labour, car drivers/pedestrians/cyclists, families/childless, old/young, rich/poor. There is not a group that hasn't got an aggressively pursued anti-group. (I've written about this quite often, for example here http://britishandbritains.blogspot.de/2012/04/britain-at-war-with-itself.html So it's hardly surprsing that the whole lot collectively hates all its European neighbours. Hatred comes naturally, and a certain historical invasion paranoia doesn't help. All psychologically logical and understandable, but off-putting nevertheless.

The European idea favours mutual support, trade, exchange of ideas, know-how and talent. Countries forging links and living peacefully together, striving for a maximum level of affluence for as many people as possible. It eschews tribalism, and prejudice. The original idea was conceived in the Enlightenment, and in the 21st century has been augmented by a common desire to be linked up, belonging to (cultural or economic) networks, and  a general drive towards a more integrated, modern, and mutually beneficial society.

40 percent of the UK populace reject those ideas and are in favour of exiting the EU (with only 34% opting for staying - the rest doesn't know, hasn't heard of Europe, or doesn't care). Two thirds of the over-60's want to leave the EU. Those figures clearly indicate that it isn't about power-politics, or even rooting for cash-backs. People want their "sovereignity" back, they don't want to be "governed by foreigners", they don't want to exchange ideas. people, and goods. They want to live in their hovel, and hate everybody. Just like the dirty old man.

For me, that is unacceptable. I prefer not to have any dealings with such convictions. I find them abhorrent, deplorable, and really quite disgusting. British voters might be put off by Europe. I am put off by the old man - I know I should be feeling sorry for him, but I'm too disgusted by his ways.






Sorry, no comments - my openness for dialogue with Euro-haters is over.

The Expat Dilemma

I haven't written seriously about Expat Life for a while. (Only a little humorous post!)  The reason being that the topic is firmly in the hands of people or companies I find extremely dodgy - and therefore the whole  area becomes tainted for me. It's either handled by people who live about 30,000 miles from the next border and want to "coach" you to become a "Thought Leader"- for a $$-price naturally. Or by an offshore company who's ultimate aim is to convince you that "now is a good time to buy in Greece". So I kept shtum as I find these sort of bed-fellows very disagreeable.

HOWEVER (you guessed it...) The expat situation deserves a bit of non-commercial, unbiased scrutiny (and help if possible.) I'll concentrate on the situation I'm most familar with:  Let's take a British woman living an expat-life in Germany. Her situation will at first glance be quite enviable. On average, she will be well-off, have a job, live in a nice area, in a nice flat. Mostly, however, she will be renting. Simply because everybody does in Germany.

Say now, she's feeling a bit homesick - or wondering how to shape her future long-term. Going back to Britain? That would be very very difficult. Given that you have no property assets, you would have to start from afresh on the UK property-"ladder". Older than the average British first-time buyer, you would therefore have to be willing to start out buying an over-priced small flat in a dodgy area, and be financially, and lifestlye-wise an awful lot worse off than you were in Germany, renting.

Secondly, salaries are an awful lot higher in Germany than in the UK. There, you absolutely need a double-income to survive. Which, for the expat means her partner has to be willing and able to relocate back to Britain. Again, not at all easy - given language, job etc. constrictions!

If our female expat is planning to have a child in the near or distant future, again, things will have to be thought through carefully - in Germany you're looking at 12 months maternity leave at 80% of your salary. A perk you might not be willing to give up in a hurry.

And so it goes on - almost every area of life can easily turn out to be full of pitfalls that are difficult to computate. (And whilst this may generally be the case, as an expat you are just so much more aware of risks and consequences!)

I know from experience that being an expat isn't easy - hardly surprising, you may say - but I wanted to point out that it isn't just the usual moans and aches - language, food, carpets in the bathroom etc - but very concrete considerations that make you almost believe in the old saying "You Can't Go Home Again".