That's Funny!

It came to me when Allison Pearson posted a tweet about how funny she thought the American pronunciation of "Putin" is: Poohtin, rather than the British "Pyootin" It obviously didn't occur to her that there is a Russian pronunciation to a Russian name.

Never mind the ins and outs of  the correct pronunciation ("Murkl", anyone?) - but why is everything that doesn't mirror the British way automatically classified as "funny"?  I've endured countless anecdotes of British people's adventures abroad: It always involves a point of "funny foreigners". Funny as in odd, and as in laughable of course.

No baked beans and wodges of fatty bacon first thing in the morning? That funny German breakfast. No leggings and voluminous t-shirts? Funny way of dressing the French have. No fleece jackets in winter? That's so funny.

And of course no British habits are ever funny. They are just, well normal, the way you do it. No funny business. Given that fewer and fewer British  people can afford to go abroad., that hardly anybody speaks a foreign language ("That sounds funny!") and  therefore information about other countries and cultures is  heavily curtailed, I envisage a veritable barrage of baffled reactions in the future. Except it isn't funny, it's sad.

Finding others funny rather than interesting smacks of provincialism to me. It is also incredibly short sighted. Just imagine what you could learn when you start thinking about doing things differently, and why cultures aren't all the same. And that your own perspective isn't necessarily the best one, and that there are many different ways of doing things without the one necessarily being better. Start thinking, and stop finding everything new "funny", and see what a multitude of perspectives you gain!

How Do Germans See Britain?

A recent article in the BBC News Magazine "Affection for Britain Brews in Germany" http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21628274 seemed just the kind of topic the interculturalist with a particular penchant for British/German relations is keen on. And yet, apart from a few feeble puns, a confusing array of tea brands, and a quite unbelievable revocation of the oldest clichés in the book - yes, believe it or not, "Don't mention the war" popped up, what - to stick with the feeble puns so beloved by the author - did it all boil down to?

The article can be summed up in 1 sentence:  "The Germans" don't know how to make tea but believe that Brits aren't too bad".  Right.

Whilst it is true that recently there seems to be a groundswell of sympathy for Britain and things British, I really honestly, and with all the force of my intercultural, bi-national awareness, cannot put that down to  either the Kate-factor, the opening ceremony of the Olympics, or, as the author seems to suggest Britain's "tough" (?) stance on the EU.

The fact is, very very few Germans are either interested in or aware of contemporary British on-goings. Personally, I've never once heard the Olympics opening ceremony even being mentioned here. As for Kate, no - really not. Hardly anybody is even aware of her. Much as Britain still sees itself as the centre of the universe, its news - good or bad - doesn't travel. Aside from hard political events which occur in the newswires, people don't follow discussions, events and changes in British society.

If it's true, and I would agree with the author of the BBC article there, Germans feel sympathetic to English (!) culture, it is very much with a focus on the past. A nostalgic Britain with its tea ceremony, its slight eccentricities, ist Miss Marple-ish villages, its incessant rain - yes indeed, all those nostalgic cliches have been gaining  clout in Germany. But this, to me, has a lot more to do with the current collective psyche than a real-life England. In times where nothing is stable and secure anymore (money, prospects, jobs etc) where a books means a 3-second download, where your social media friends seem more real than the people you went to school with - in such a world, a nice cup of tea, a juicy murder in the vicarage, a stormy love affair in the Yorkshire dales or the sweet vales of Devon seems a haven of comfort. And what's wrong with that? It might even be a useful insight to the British tourist industry.

But let's not confuse that with a genuinely informed, knowledge-based appreciation of a  different culture!

(Maybe I'll describe the most salient features of British contemporary society in my next post.)

Emigrating to Germany? Well, yes!

A seismic shift is rippling through the intercultural perspective. Germany has suddenly become the country people move to. For work, yes - but not just. For a more agreeable and relaxed lifestyle. For going to university and not having to pay. For living in an exciting and culturally vibrant environment (Berlin) whilst not having to fork out masses of money for a flat. For understanding that it's not necessary to lumber yourself with a mortgage all through your life - and yet still be able to live ina nice flat or house -because in Germany renting is the genrally accepted norm. And for safety. And for a thousand other reasons...

The once frowned-upon country which never even featured on the travel pages of magazines (despite having some the most spectacular scenery in Europe) has suddenly become the go-to place of choice Maybe Germany had just been overlooked for some time. Maybe there didn't seem to be a particular reason to go. People had it down as solid, but boring, unexciting - just sort of there.

The deteriorating economic climate in many European country turned out to be the intitial spark that made people aware of Germany. But suddenly it's quite literally on the map. Tourist numbers are up, people - especially Britons - are suddenly very knowledgeable about Germany, discussing export figures (up?) versus retail sales (down?). And who would have thought - they're even reading German novels that had been all but forgotten in Germany were it not for the boost from Britain, yes I'm talking about Fallada's Alone in Berlin which became a bestseller in the UK! http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2010/may/23/hans-fallada-thriller-surprise-hit

Quality standards improve quality of life - it's as simple as that. And not just for those who can afford it - in Germany, class inequality is a lot less pronounced than, say, in the UK. Decent standards in all wakes of life (housing, transport, food are available to all. Concomitantly, there is much less (or actually no) class hatred, and a lot less crime.

Nobody's saying Germany is the new Eden. You will still have to put up with a certain staidness, with hermetically shut shops on Sunday, a strong regionalism, and an often technological way of thinking. But these disadvantages are far outstripped by the enormous benefits and the pleasures of living here.


If you have any specific questions about life in Germany, please don't hesitate to contact me. I'm also on twitter @Margit11

Guest Post by Marie-Paule Graham: Why Would a Brit Leave Britain?

It's a question I get asked a lot, at weddings, parties and randomly as I try to make my way through speaking exercises in language class. Why did you come here? Will you go back? Why not?

Why did I come here? Love, is the simple answer. The more complex answer is probably better addressed with a question: why would you ask the love of your life to move to a country that is falling apart; a country that is the most surveilled nation on Earth, where the economy is stagnant, at best, and that infuriating phrase "I'm sorry for any inconvenience caused" is the answer to every problem. 

Baffled faces stare back at me as I talk about the reality of living in Britain. "But, when I stayed with my host family it was great." is one reply. Of course it was, you were a guest and everyone was on their best behaviour. Visiting a place and living there are two very different propositions. A visit is finite and often enjoyed with that holiday feeling. The visitor often leaves before culture shock kicks in. The resident stays and lives through their culture shock, allowing themselves to become a part of the fabric of their new home.

“But Britain is a great democracy and you've got the BBC!” is another answer. Democracies don't spy on their citizens, they don't extradite them to foreign countries and as for the BBC, google the name Jimmy Savile.

And then there are the middle aged British expat women whose expressions turn to mild horror when I say that I live in Chemnitz.

Chemnitz has always had a rough deal. The first DDR leader Walther Ulbricht changed the city's name to Karl-Marx-Stadt and made it the model of Communist industrial ideals, i.e. dirty, grey and unimaginative. They even concreted over the river Chemnitz to obliterate anything that spoke of a life before Socialism. In April 1990 the people of Karl-Marx-Stadt voted to reinstate the city's original name and today the river is being restored to its original path through the centre of the city. 

Like all cities Chemnitz has beautiful parts and less desirable parts; there is commerce and there are areas of post-industrial emptiness. In Britain I couldn't leave the house without my iPod and headphones to drown out the constant cacophony of life on a crowded island. Here, I can walk through the city without headphones if I want to and, standing in the main square on days when the market isn't there, I can hear the sound of shoes on cobblestone and church bells. I also walk upright because I know I am not under constant surveillance. I can ride my bike on the roads here without fear of losing life or limb at the hands of needlessly aggressive drivers - something I never felt happy doing in Britain. Riding for 40 minutes in any direction will take you into the countryside. There is also an Olympic size swimming pool, while some towns in Britain don't have a pool at all. Prague and Berlin are two hours away and if I want to ski, the Erzgebirge (Ore Mountains, if you wish to be Tolkien about it) are 30 minutes away. Gangs of youths don't roam around with menace, in fact, young people will say hello to you. I was leaving my building laden with luggage one morning and sitting outside the front door were two teenage girls. Cue the sudden sense of foreboding I've been conditioned to feel at the sight of teenagers, but before I can finish my thought, one of the girls asks me if I needed any help. I had to hide me astonishment because teenage girls don't behave that way in Britain.

I watch the faces of these middle aged British expats as I recount the above and realise that, while the city I live in has made the best of itself since reunification, it's reputation hasn't changed. “Oh, it's so dreary”, says one lady in that withering manner I don't miss at all. No, places without employment are dreary, where everyone is scared of everyone else and people would rather seethe about foreigners taking their jobs than actually fix the problems that brought their country to its knees. 

So, why would a Brit leave Britain? Because there is love and peace and stability in this small corner of Saxony. Isn't that what everybody wants?

Marie-Paule Graham writes "Adventures in Waldiland" [waldiland.blogspot.de] and tweets @mpg4.

The Expat Dilemma

I haven't written seriously about Expat Life for a while. (Only a little humorous post!)  The reason being that the topic is firmly in the hands of people or companies I find extremely dodgy - and therefore the whole  area becomes tainted for me. It's either handled by people who live about 30,000 miles from the next border and want to "coach" you to become a "Thought Leader"- for a $$-price naturally. Or by an offshore company who's ultimate aim is to convince you that "now is a good time to buy in Greece". So I kept shtum as I find these sort of bed-fellows very disagreeable.

HOWEVER (you guessed it...) The expat situation deserves a bit of non-commercial, unbiased scrutiny (and help if possible.) I'll concentrate on the situation I'm most familar with:  Let's take a British woman living an expat-life in Germany. Her situation will at first glance be quite enviable. On average, she will be well-off, have a job, live in a nice area, in a nice flat. Mostly, however, she will be renting. Simply because everybody does in Germany.

Say now, she's feeling a bit homesick - or wondering how to shape her future long-term. Going back to Britain? That would be very very difficult. Given that you have no property assets, you would have to start from afresh on the UK property-"ladder". Older than the average British first-time buyer, you would therefore have to be willing to start out buying an over-priced small flat in a dodgy area, and be financially, and lifestlye-wise an awful lot worse off than you were in Germany, renting.

Secondly, salaries are an awful lot higher in Germany than in the UK. There, you absolutely need a double-income to survive. Which, for the expat means her partner has to be willing and able to relocate back to Britain. Again, not at all easy - given language, job etc. constrictions!

If our female expat is planning to have a child in the near or distant future, again, things will have to be thought through carefully - in Germany you're looking at 12 months maternity leave at 80% of your salary. A perk you might not be willing to give up in a hurry.

And so it goes on - almost every area of life can easily turn out to be full of pitfalls that are difficult to computate. (And whilst this may generally be the case, as an expat you are just so much more aware of risks and consequences!)

I know from experience that being an expat isn't easy - hardly surprising, you may say - but I wanted to point out that it isn't just the usual moans and aches - language, food, carpets in the bathroom etc - but very concrete considerations that make you almost believe in the old saying "You Can't Go Home Again".

Crisps - Interculturally

In France and Germany crisps are called "chips". But let's not worry about that at the moment. There are enough intercultural conundrums surrounding crisps, crisp eating and the attitudes towards them. You wouldn't think so, would you?

In Britain eating crisps is the most humdrum, every-day activity imaginable. Go to a Boots, and they're part of the "Meal-Deal". Go to a newsagent, and they're there, nicely stacked in a rack. In the supermarket, they come in huge sack-like multi-packs. Crisps are essentials.

A very different "crisp-scenario" presents itself in Germany. There, crisps are stashed away in the "snacks"area of the supermarket. The bags look uniform, and come in only one size- quite a large size, approx. 4 servings of a Walkers packet. And - especially signifcantly - they overwhelmingly come in ONE flavour: "Paprika", sometimes called "Hungarian". Which explains why Germans often call crisps generically "Paprika-Chips".

In Britain, there's prawn cocktail flavour, grilled steak, Marmite, salt and vinegar (one of the most popular of course), cheese and onion, ketchup... you name it. And in fact Walkers did just that with its Social Media campaign "Do Us A Flavour".(http://bit.ly/mxfPNG) In Germany this exercise would have probably resulted in another paprika flavour! (That said, very recently, German producers have actually created some whacky flavours themselves, amongst them "Currywurst", Wasabi, or pumpkin oil flavour.) The French stick firmly to their No.1 flavour "salé" (ready salted.) Oh, and in Ireland life is really difficult if you're not a Cheese&Onion fan.

But the most surprising thing is, that Germans would not ever dream of eating crisps during the day. "Chips" are strictly for evenings. Offered to friends in a bowl, put on the table as a "TV snack", an ideal accompaniment to beer and football on the telly. (Not surprising you need those big bags!)

I find it fascinating that even such an ubiquitous thing as crisps has an unbuilt intercultural factor. Same thing, so many different habits, flavours, associations connected to it!

The Euro - A Non-British View

According to the British press, the Euro hardly exists anymore. European countries - or as they like to call it - the "Eurozone" are destitute, people staging angry protests, imploring their leaders to abolish the Euro. I have a few things to say about that.

First of all, Europe is not a zone. Just because Britain would not (or could not - remember those desperate John Major days when even hyper-interst inflation would not help) join in, does not make anybody else a "zone". It's like Cuba calling the US the "Democracy-zone".

Secondly, more importantly, and probably totally outside the British "zone" of imagination: Europe isn't a sort of Poundstretcher shop where you go if you want something cheap. Europe is first and foremost a dream. Why should "The United States of Europe" be less feasible than the "United States of America", the beloved and only wished-for partner Britons would be happy with. (Shame, the US is both broke, and doesn't give a hoot about Britain.) So, why is "The United States of Europe" such anathema? "Oh, it would never work... the countries are too different". I see, but Florida and Alaska are quite similar are they? Red Necks in Minnesota really gel with New York metropolitans, do they? So that's not it. It is of course, as ever the fear of a powerful Germany. The perma-bind of British thinking that finds it impossible to get beyond the mindset of the Yalta conference.

Few memories are more off-putting than a hysterical Margaret Thatcher screeching "No, no, no". Even the unspeakable Ian Paisley had more dignity with his infamous "Ulster says no"slogan.

But why always say "No" to everything which doesn't automatically translate into some grubby "And now we're quids in" thinking? Britain's attitude to the Euro is unfortunately typical of its general world-view. Like suspicious peasants who hate anything that smacks of idealism and has an intellectual underpinning, they nevertheless would like to go on a profiteering spree. When it looked as if the uniquely strange British housing market - with its hyper-inflated prices for something objectively worthless - could be extended into the Eurozone, Brits were not above to doing a few deals. Busloads of wannabe-Euro landlords turned up in far-flung countries like Bulgaria, gobbling up off-plan housing that never materialized. British pensioners flocked to bungalows in Spain, hoping to make a killing via the Euro. A very British way to participate at the wrong end of something which is outside their grasp.

So the Euro is going through a difficult patch? So maybe it could have been forseen that Greece and Ireland didn't have the economic muscle of Germany and France? Big deal. Big intellectual insight. The Euro - being a common European currency is the first step towards a united, peaceful, and non-antagonistic Europe. A Europe without squabbling, internecine warfare, and tribalism - all of which are not just wrecking Britain atmospherically, but are also responsible for its abysmal economic performance. Saying "No" to everything is easy, but it is neither attractive, nor admirable. It's just sad.

Oxford - Et in Arcadia Ego?

After graduating, I came to England. I had got a job as lecturer at Hertford College, Oxford. The appointment ("tenure") was for 2 years. These two years turned out to be the happiest of my life - after Oxford, nothing ever really lives up to it, you just get used to things because you have to... But that's not what I'm writing about.

I was about 100 years younger than the youngest don there, so whilst officially part of the Senior Common Room (all the teaching staff of a college), my social life happened in the MCR (i.e. the graduate students). I still saw a lot of my colleagues though, mainly at the daily High Table dinner where you wear a gown, Grace is said in Latin, and you make formal conversation over not so good food.

You'd expect an Oxford college to be a hub of academic internationalism. Researchers from all over the world mingling for multinational exchanges. But this wasn't the case at all. I was the only foreigner and one of only two women. Conversation with me at High Table was laboured - Rhine cruises were remembered, and war reminscences (possibly not their own, their fathers'?) offered with the tough duck à l'orange. Narvik featured heavily. It wasn't easy to chime in, I had never been on a Rhine cruise "That must have been so lovely!" and Narvik meant nothing to me "That must have been... terrible!"

Over in the MCR, it was the polar opposite - the graduate students came from all over the world, fee-paying Americans, Japanese, Nigerians, Dutch. In fact I only remember one British national there. It was lively, fun, international - one got to know people and learnt an awful lot.

It struck me, that living in Britain, my life is still organised along those lines: The international background through family, friends, travel, and media. And on the other side there's Britain. Yes, there may be a whole multicultural aspect to it, but that SCR-Britain prevails. British reality is still mono-lingual, awkward with foreigners, still treating "abroad" with polite suspicion. It still chews on that tough duck. Proudly chewing, but inward-looking, and increasingly marginalised.

*)On the photo, the window of my room, second floor on the left hand side, is just about visible.

Britain - All the Rage

I'm slightly apprehensive about this blog post. Will it result in hate mail? Furious comments? Total silence? We will see.
When I last lived in Britain, it seemed a gentle and tolerant country. People were textbook-polite, often friendly and helpful.

This is my second sojourn, and I have only been here 4 months. So maybe my impressions are wrong, or one-sided.

I would like to emphasize that in none of my examples have I been directly involved. I have no axe to grind. I see myself as a bystander in this country, not a particpant.


Almost every day, I see the most rage-filled exchanges between drivers who feel cut-up, slighted, or are simply furious about other cars. They hoot their horns, shake their fists, shout abuse out of the window.

I hear busdrivers getting angry with passengers for the smallest offense (like presenting their ticket upside-down.)

I observe people in supermarkets deliberately blocking other shoppers' access to the shelf and then furiously hissing at them when they complain.

People are losing their rags. Violence seems contantly under the surface.

I hear about people being deliberately humiliated by their bosses at work, building up hate fantasies.

I read about gay people getting beaten up in town centres.


"You'd find that everywhere", I hear you say. Maybe. But Britain used to be different. Politer. Nicer. Gentler.

Some years ago, the then Prime Minister, John Major propagated "A nation at ease with itself". Is this still true?